One thing you can learn about couponing like in stores is where you can save as much as you like provided you buy what you don't!
I see these beautiful world videos on YouTube that go on for 20 hours and show zooms of all the beautiful countries around the world. If you're a drone, you can do more than most!
Even though candle wax for ear plugs almost stops noise completely it's poisonous, like the boss when he has steam and fire out of his ears and his nose when he's mad!
Did you know you think a lot when you're asleep.. you just have amnesia so you forget what you sleep learned..Most people think around 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day.. a lot of us say snore snore yawn yawn!
The 1920s was the Golden Age of roller coasters, like with 3000.. Here in the 2000s they aren't with more g-forces; today's coasters just have larger loops for safety.. when you flop down on the bed with your life safe before your eyes, this is cheaper than an ER visit!
Bob Orben the comic said "To exercise is human, not to is divine!" Yes, if you don't exercise you will reach heaven sooner!
I got this weather map where it says "Our records indicate that your vehicle registration has been removed." I don't even own a vehicle and I exercise! I think records aren't as round as they used to be!
UFO sightings went up 10,000% in Eastern Europe after the reduction of communism so I think the probability of something improbable being probable is related to how much stress people are under. Why were there no UFO sightings in the old days.. because if they knew what it was, it wouldn't be a UFO!
Is Bigfoot real? Big socks are realer! In ancient times they all went around barefoot, the horses all wore socks and put on their shoes and socks in the winter, but not necessarily in that odor!
All snakes are carnivorous and when you pick up a branch by the road it's good to see instead they're all herbivores!
Those hot air poppers somebody got really rich inventing and when I climbed up the hill carrying the popper I bought the clouds above have lots of steam! All they had before was boiling the popcorn in oil. 5 oz of all 100% lard! 4,000 mg of salt! with a built-in defibulator!
Some Have said life is a terminal illness. But it's much more fun than the alternative! Like when somebody says something bad we live our life in such a way that nobody would ever believe it was true. It might seem our body has betrayed us sometimes but knowledge about what it's about can often be more powerful than medicine itself. Like when you learn stuff in college it helps you learn other stuff without even much study..this sounds like college to me awesome if I don't have to do something with a lot of reading!
What we need are more fortune tellers and astrologers, and slower speeding away from concerts with flares in the trunk so concert emergencys are 100% more relax-sing!
I'm a optimist.. It's not that I never win anything it's just that I always win more I hope! And what's good about sleeping is it's relaxing..right! What's good about being awake is, it makes us more alert and stops snores or the neighbors driving pigs to market!!
It's been said that memory is like a rope that lifts us up out of the void of unconciousness. Even so people with severe amnesia still remember love and music.. So your whole brain lights up with music but it doesn't light up with pain and they don't know why.. I know why, because I love alt country!
Research has shown that pain can actually be good for your health "what won't kill you will make you strong" and will be "a fine and pleasant misery" for most! This was what Mark Twain was saying, do something each day that makes you feel uncomfortable so you don't think it's so unusual.
"My celebrity crush when I was a teen" was any sweet woman who was in reach! I thought the best for celebrities would be to let them have some time alone. It seems they agreed. I thought a lot of some beautiful weather women on TV and I tried to bribe her and she sent us all the good weather.. more than 50/50% shade in the sunshine!
What's good if you live in a shack and there's rain coming through the roof and you're drinking tainted water and there's a mouse in your house? At least you don't have money troubles!
People were buried alive so often in the 19th century that inventors patented safety coffins that would give the "dead" the ability to alert those above ground if they were still alive. Time for a health checkup by the Mortician months ahead! So the mortician and the dead could stay alive after they found out!
I see these ads for Godzilla or gorilla soap and it says "if she asks why you smell" and she sez "You have to smell it helps me breathe!"
Some sisters help their other sisters with support through labor and birth.. Moms support us all through labor and birth.. She did all the heavy lifting, more than the NBA!
They found the stomach contents of a brontosaurus and it made a mysterious sound.. the sensors and sonar they found.. it was like a slow 65 million year giant burp!
Abraham Lincoln used his hat for all his most important documents and letters. When he would write home to his mother, he didn't have to stuff his hat in the envelope!
Gandhi was nominated for the Nobel Prize five times but never won the prize. Hopefully the Nobel door will have a doorbell and the ring will be golden!
There is a building in Germany that plays music when it rains. Yes but can this building sing and dance when it's snowing at Christmas like us!
I'm willing to to wait till I'm thin and cook my own food, Most people in the US spend more than fifty dollars a day on food.. But if you just put the potatoes or other dish for convenience in the pressure cooker you can often bring it down to a dollar a day. The pressure cooker pays for itself the first day and you're getting $50 a day saved and more healthy each day from thin on out!
As late as 1850 most shoes would fit either the right or the left foot. And they couldn't go around a winding road while they hop with one shoe like us!
A hotel in Sweden is built entirely out of ice. If it starts to snow and sleet, Must buy a set of sleets for the waterbed, which is actually a Cola machine!
What's the meaning of the Surrealist painting by Salvador Dalli "The Persistence of Memory".. Actually nobody knows, It's so amazing and if you ask me I can't remember either!
There's a lot of intelligent life out there but never it seems intelligent enough to devise a way to travel to the stars before they too have social issues like us. The Indians had no war before 1000, I think this is because there was less competition for the resources before. If we treat nature kindly this would not be an issue though. But perhaps few advanced civilizations do. The probability of lots of smaller life seems higher because they're there for billions of years before the more advanced civilizations might arise.
Comics may ask
"If thousands pay for alien abduction insurance policies that offer millions of dollars payout. (This is real!) "Why sail away on a UFO when they can go on "Wheel"!"
A British officer, Walter Summerford, was struck by lightning four separate times. He got up, dusted himself off, and made light, light, light, and heat of it! He also won the lottery more often with the nurses winning lottery she won from playing the vending machine in the ER!
McCartney lead singer of The Beatles was going to be an electrician..when he started to sing fans were electrified!
If I were a dog I could be a chauffeur by now but not if they drove me off!
Supposedly a lot of garden hoses have lead and are poisonous to drink from. This is horse and wine country where I live.. Let them drink from a 10,000 gallon hat!
Landlords are hopefully doing their job.. is their job just being alive? My realtor has a sign on her door that says "entrance only" and "this is not an exit!"
Sunshine in a bottle, is not always only 20 years away in Alaska!
Basil and other herbs sell for hundreds of dollars an ounce in the grocery store but a lot of people make a small greenhouse and start with cheap ads and then scale the operation and soon they're making thousands a day.. a lot of people want to eat herbs that aren't radiated with 10,000 IU's of radiation like the herbs sold in stores. Hopefully that's not the White House you see on the back of a bill but rather a greenhouse stuffed with wealth!
Watching fat disappear is worth the cash and if you smell an odorless gas it's probably just your socks if you use plastic bags to waterproof with the dry layer between great for cozy socks in winter!
Did you know science has shown that you can only find flavor through your nose? "With her nose pierced she breathes more flavor, and she can find more flowers at Christmas!"
I couldn't do so many pushups, only if I lowered my house! Thin health has good value.. Chin-ups and squats exercise almost all the muscles in your body. My ear muscles may lift my audio!
Waxed awl twine like one millimeter Is a great way to sew like with a 1 mm needle. It never snags or breaks and threads like a dream, a much stronger bond than usual flimsy thread, but just as easy to stitch. Like Taylor Swift's backup band, the Singers!
I want to buy a bed making machine! I want to make a machine to make a bed making machine! No, I want my cushion filled with cash!
If pa had a shoe on his head it wouldn't fall off and would be great for speech recognition..
"Was the $1,000 in the purse hers?" "Yes, but was the purse?"
You may not believe this but research has shown that people who think about exercise are actually ahead in fitness for a year above those who exercise and then they catch up! Watching fat reduction videos makes me think I'm exercising for the championship of the world!
Football players have a patented hand cooler. These cool their hand down and their whole body so they don't get hyperthermia. There are lots of thermostats the body has, I love a juice jug filled with ice and around the edge because when it melts it's 32° for hours in the heat.. Shake more or less for the right comfort zone! A sprinkler hat so the more I stomp the cooler the weather in the heat!
I wear shades at night in the heat.. if it's the summertime I wear an umbrella hat and hope it rains! Luck is an advantage if you have lots!
If I had time travel and I bought a pizza in 1998 by now it would still be hot and cause mouth burns!
Why did the chicken sing across the road? HenXing! The sign said Squawk! Don't Squawk!
Putting beige paint on your glasses is great for a heat wave when you want to see the snow, and if you had windshield wipers on them in August you could see the rain, think optimoist!
There's four feet of rain up there, The swimming pool is up! All there is is up I hope in the summer!
If selling counts as not buying.. It's more like exercise for me, I would donate all my money up to $75,000 a year so I was only making this much because research has shown that above 75,000 a year the money gets more and more clunky and it weighs you down like about general health to be exact! Benjamin Franklin said "Want and abundance or the ruin of man".. What would moderation be "Wantance or Abundwant".. like the ancient Greek dude was saying "Increase your wealth or decrease your wants!..But we always want more and more wealth!
My umbrella might spin so it flips forever chemicals and rain off from the umbrella in the rain! And my hair is easy to wash with a spin around the whirl!
The rich people have the maid roast their s'mores for them around the campfire..she cleans afterwards up by sales around in her small plane!
Like the rich dude says..they asked him how he got wealthy he said it doesn't matter how much you bet on just that you begin right away..on the shore of the cosmic ocean the stars are the most shining and bright..
A lady I know who lives up the road likes to see the perfume box she received from USPS, This is her Car-Rt-Sort and suite..or a CRT TV! Her whiffs will lift her euphoria by Smileovision!
Do you know why British English has not changed much Compared to American English since the turn of the soo 20th century..
Originally British and American English went their separate ways, but after about 1900 The British started copying all sorts of things about us because after that they thought our product was always the best!
The British had their Original 13 Comedies And good cluck by Hen the 8th!
I wonder if I would take the lift up to the flat if it was flat in 1757!
Or if my electric torch was a flashlight to burn down the house with Wifirewire! No they can burn it up so more optimist!
Nintendo was founded in 1889. Before it sold videos, they specialized in playing cards. They had old videos in 1899, they just flipped through it real slow!
The implementation of blue-colored streetlights has reduced both crime and suicides 9%. When he's feeling blue what does Barney the dinosaur do? Stops holding his breath, and sings for 65 million years!
Playing cards were used as currency in some countries from the 17th century to the early 19th century. Deal me in if it's too rich for my wealth!
A Tokyo-based marketing company offers its non-smoking employees six extra vacation days to make up for smokers' cigarette breaks. Anyone can do it! So more time for coughing workouts!
I see this other ad for CatScratch Itch Relief and I'm thinking is this if the cat itches us or we itch the cat! Scratch and sniff has 10 purrscent purrfume..
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