What's The Merrymost

 

In the 1960s, the CIA had a top-secret spy cat project named acoustic kitty. Cats were surgically implanted with microphones and radio transmitters, designed to eavesdrop on foreign diplomats. Cats are famous spies because we all know they secretly don't coopurrate!

One thing you can learn about couponing like in stores is where you can save as much as you like provided you buy what you don't!

I see these beautiful world videos on YouTube that go on for 20 hours and show zooms of all the beautiful countries around the world. If you're a drone, you can do more than most!

Even though candle wax for ear plugs almost stops noise completely it's poisonous, like the boss when he has steam and fire out of his ears and his nose when he's mad!

Did you know you think a lot when you're asleep.. you just have amnesia so you forget what you sleep learned..Most people think around 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day.. a lot of us say snore snore yawn yawn!

The 1920s was the Golden Age of roller coasters, like with 3000.. Here in the 2000s they aren't with more g-forces; today's coasters just have larger loops for safety.. when you flop down on the bed with your life safe before your eyes, this is cheaper than an ER visit!

Bob Orben the comic said "To exercise is human, not to is divine!" Yes, if you don't exercise you will reach heaven sooner!

I got this weather map where it says "Our records indicate that your vehicle registration has been removed." I don't even own a vehicle and I exercise! I think records aren't as round as they used to be!

UFO sightings went up 10,000% in Eastern Europe after the reduction of communism so I think the probability of something improbable being probable is related to how much stress people are under. Why were there no UFO sightings in the old days.. because if they knew what it was, it wouldn't be a UFO!

Is Bigfoot real?  Big socks are realer! In ancient times they all went around barefoot, the horses all wore socks and put on their shoes and socks in the winter, but not necessarily in that odor!

All snakes are carnivorous and when you pick up a branch by the road it's good to see instead they're all herbivores!

Those hot air poppers somebody got really rich inventing  and when I climbed up the hill carrying the popper I bought the clouds above have lots of steam! All they had before was boiling the popcorn in oil. 5 oz of all 100% lard! 4,000 mg of salt! with a built-in defibulator!

Some Have said life is a terminal illness. But it's much more fun than the alternative! Like when somebody says something bad we live our life in such a way that nobody would ever believe it was true. It might seem our body has betrayed us sometimes but knowledge about what it's about can often be more powerful than medicine itself. Like when you learn stuff in college it helps you learn other stuff without even much study..this sounds like college to me awesome if I don't have to do something with a lot of reading!

What we need are more fortune tellers and astrologers, and slower speeding away from concerts with flares in the trunk so concert emergencys are 100% more relax-sing!

I'm a optimist.. It's not that I never win anything it's just that I always win more I hope! And what's good about sleeping is it's relaxing..right! What's good about being awake is, it makes us more alert and stops snores or the neighbors driving pigs to market!!

It's been said that memory is like a rope that lifts us up out of the void of unconciousness. Even so people with severe amnesia still remember love and music.. So your whole brain lights up with music but it doesn't light up with pain and they don't know why.. I know why, because I love alt country!

Research has shown that pain can actually be good for your health "what won't kill you will make you strong" and will be "a fine and pleasant misery" for most! This was what Mark Twain was saying, do something each day that makes you feel uncomfortable so you don't think it's so unusual.

"My celebrity crush when I was a teen" was any sweet woman who was in reach! I thought the best for celebrities would be to let them have some time alone. It seems they agreed. I thought a lot of some beautiful weather women on TV and I tried to bribe her and she sent us all the good weather.. more than 50/50% shade in the sunshine!

What's good if you live in a shack and there's rain coming through the roof and you're drinking tainted water and there's a mouse in your house? At least you don't have money troubles!

People were buried alive so often in the 19th century that inventors patented safety coffins that would give the "dead" the ability to alert those above ground if they were still alive. Time for a health checkup by the Mortician months ahead! So the mortician and the dead could stay alive after they found out!

I see these ads for Godzilla or gorilla soap and it says "if she asks why you smell" and she sez "You have to smell it helps me  breathe!"

Some sisters help their other sisters with support through labor and birth.. Moms support us all through labor and birth.. She did all the heavy lifting, more than the NBA!

They found the stomach contents of a brontosaurus and it made a mysterious sound.. the sensors and sonar they found.. it was like a slow 65 million year giant burp!

Abraham Lincoln used his hat for all his most important documents and letters. When he would write home to his mother, he didn't have to stuff his hat in the envelope!

Gandhi was nominated for the Nobel Prize five times but never won the prize. Hopefully the Nobel door will have a doorbell and the ring will be golden!

There is a building in Germany that plays music when it rains. Yes but can this building sing and dance when it's snowing at Christmas like us!

I'm willing to to wait till I'm thin and cook my own food, Most people in the US spend more than fifty dollars a day on food.. But if you just put the potatoes or other dish for convenience in the pressure cooker you can often bring it down to a dollar a day. The pressure cooker pays for itself the first day and you're getting $50 a day saved and more healthy each day from thin on out!

As late as 1850 most shoes would fit either the right or the left foot. And they couldn't go around a winding road while they hop with one shoe like us!

A hotel in Sweden is built entirely out of ice. If it starts to snow and sleet, Must buy a set of sleets for the waterbed, which is actually a Cola machine!

What's the meaning of the Surrealist painting by Salvador Dalli "The Persistence of Memory".. Actually nobody  knows, It's so amazing and if you ask me I can't remember either!

There's a lot of intelligent life out there but never it seems intelligent enough to devise a way to travel to the stars before they too have social issues like us. The Indians had no war before 1000, I think this is because there was less competition for the resources before. If we treat nature kindly this would not be an issue though. But perhaps few advanced civilizations do. The probability of lots of smaller life seems higher because they're there for billions of years before the more advanced civilizations might arise.

Comics may ask

"If thousands pay for alien abduction insurance policies that offer millions of dollars payout. (This is real!)  "Why sail away on a UFO when they can go on "Wheel"!"

A British officer, Walter Summerford, was struck by lightning four separate times. He got up, dusted himself off, and made light, light, light, and heat of it! He also won the lottery more often with the nurses winning lottery she won from playing the vending machine in the ER!

McCartney lead singer of The Beatles was going to be an electrician..when he started to sing fans were electrified!

If I were a dog I could be a chauffeur by now but not if they drove me off!

Supposedly a lot of garden hoses have lead and are poisonous to drink from. This is horse and wine country where I live..  Let them drink from a 10,000 gallon hat!

Landlords are hopefully doing their job.. is their job just being alive? My realtor has a sign on her door that says "entrance only" and "this is not an exit!"

Sunshine in a bottle, is not always only 20 years away in Alaska!

Basil and other herbs sell for hundreds of dollars an ounce in the grocery store but a lot of people make a small greenhouse and start with cheap ads and then scale the operation and soon they're making thousands a day.. a lot of people want to eat herbs that aren't  radiated with 10,000 IU's of radiation like the herbs sold in stores. Hopefully that's not the White House you see on the back of a bill but rather a greenhouse stuffed with wealth!

Watching fat disappear is worth the cash and if you smell an odorless gas it's probably just your socks if you use plastic bags to waterproof with the dry layer between great for cozy socks in winter!

Did you know science has shown that you can only find flavor through your nose? "With her nose pierced she breathes more flavor, and she can find more flowers at Christmas!"

I couldn't do so many pushups, only if I lowered my house! Thin health has good value.. Chin-ups and squats exercise almost all the muscles in your body. My ear muscles may lift my audio!

Waxed awl twine like one millimeter Is a great way to sew like with a 1 mm needle. It never snags or breaks and threads like a dream, a much stronger bond than usual flimsy thread, but just as easy to stitch. Like Taylor Swift's backup band, the Singers!

I want to buy a bed making machine! I want to make a machine to make a bed making machine! No, I want my cushion filled with cash!

If pa had a shoe on his head it wouldn't fall off and would be great for speech recognition..

"Was the $1,000 in the purse hers?" "Yes, but was the purse?"

You may not believe this but research has shown that people who think about exercise are actually ahead in fitness for a year above those who exercise and then they catch up! Watching fat reduction videos makes me think I'm exercising for the championship of the world!

Football players have a patented hand cooler. These cool their hand down and their whole body so they don't get hyperthermia. There are lots of thermostats the body has, I love a juice jug filled with ice and around the edge because when it melts it's 32° for hours in the heat.. Shake more or less for the right comfort zone! A sprinkler hat so the more I stomp the cooler the weather in the heat!

I wear shades at night in the heat.. if it's the summertime I wear an umbrella hat and hope it rains! Luck is an advantage if you have lots!

If I had time travel and I bought a pizza in 1998 by now it would still be hot and cause  mouth burns!

Why did the chicken sing across the road?  HenXing! The sign said Squawk! Don't Squawk!

Putting beige paint on your glasses is great for a heat wave when you want to see the snow, and if you had windshield wipers on them in August you could see the rain, think optimoist!

There's four feet of rain up there, The swimming pool is up! All there is is up I hope in the summer!

If selling counts as not buying.. It's more like exercise for me, I would donate all my money up to $75,000 a year so I was only making this much because research has shown that above 75,000 a year the money gets more and more clunky and it weighs you down like about general health to be exact! Benjamin Franklin said "Want and abundance or the ruin of man".. What would moderation be "Wantance or Abundwant".. like the ancient Greek dude was saying "Increase your wealth or decrease your wants!..But we always want more and more wealth!

My umbrella might spin so it flips forever chemicals and rain off from the umbrella in the rain! And my hair is easy to wash with a spin around the whirl!

The rich people have the maid roast their s'mores for them around the campfire..she cleans afterwards up by sales around in her small plane!

Like the rich dude says..they asked him how he got wealthy he said it doesn't matter how much you bet on just that you begin right away..on the shore of the cosmic ocean the stars are the most shining and bright..

A lady I know who lives up the road likes to see the perfume box she received from USPS, This is her Car-Rt-Sort and suite..or a CRT TV! Her whiffs will lift her euphoria by Smileovision!

Do you know why British English has not changed much Compared to American English since the turn of the soo 20th century..

Originally British and American English went their separate ways, but after about 1900 The British started copying all sorts of things about us because after that they thought our product was always the best!

The British had their Original 13 Comedies And good cluck by Hen the 8th!

I wonder if I would take the lift up to the flat if it was flat in 1757!

Or if my electric torch was a flashlight to  burn down the house with Wifirewire! No they can burn it up so more optimist!

Nintendo was founded in 1889. Before it sold videos, they specialized in playing cards. They had old videos in 1899, they just flipped through it real slow!

The implementation of blue-colored streetlights has reduced both crime and suicides 9%. When he's feeling blue what does Barney the dinosaur do? Stops holding his breath, and sings for 65 million years!

Playing cards were used as currency in some countries from the 17th century to the early 19th century. Deal me in if it's too rich for my wealth!

A Tokyo-based marketing company offers its non-smoking employees six extra vacation days to make up for smokers' cigarette breaks. Anyone can do it! So more time for coughing workouts!

I see this other ad for CatScratch Itch Relief and I'm thinking is this if the cat itches us or we itch the cat! Scratch and sniff has 10 purrscent purrfume..

+ Comedy Solutions

 What do you call Top Brand PCs? Brain Name Computers! Ethernet Service Providers allow us ESP!

Like cats might be syncing when they say, I wonder if those sounds people make have any meaning? Maybe we'll find out with MeowRI or Cat Scans if the we know more than we think they do!

Think I'll fly south for the winter, if I can flap my arms enough it will be real because I know it's a dream!

I see this ad for cat Scratch Itch Relief and I'm thinking if the cat scratches us or we scratch the cat!

AI is now being used in large scale College experiments to see if they can turn the answering robot around so that instead of just answering questions it asks questions like by the Socratic method to see if the student can answer it correctly. I wonder however if enough of the students get upset with all the questions they might stop the AI with hemlock!

Research shows that the Bermuda Triangle is no more likely to cause a mysterious disappearance than anywhere else. Perhaps it's no surprise that the Bermuda Triangle is disappearing from the internet!

Over the past 200 years, toilets have added 20 years to the human lifespan. Is this why they call it the restroom for the rest of our life!

Sweden's official Twitter account had been managed by random citizens for 7 years until 2018. A lot of tweets sound unwitty but when typed in are hunt and cluck!

Planes don't fly over Tibet because of the high mountains. If your earships ding you're in Shangrala! If your Starships sing you're on the moon!

"Comic mockery is a sign of a healthy brain"..Treat them like like a comic and it cheer you up! 

Scientists found a way turn peanut butter into diamonds. But it's only crunchy, never smooth peanut butter anymore!

Back in the days before digital TV when you turn your TV to a channel between the channels part of what you would see was radiation from The Big Bang. With old TVs they were just seeing Stars!

At one time chocolate was used for money. They were always making change in a heat wave!

It's unlawful to smuggle margarine into some counties in Wisconsin so I just eat where I live! It would cost more to travel to Wisconsin just to eat!

During World War II a Dutch ship was camouflaged as a tropical island to evade detection by the Japanese. It was the only ship of its class to survive. The Japanese lost the battle because they tried to fire loaves of  bread at them!

A motorized diaper in orbit for infants would be good so rich fat people who have lost so much weight in orbit wouldn't sail away from the mother station at any rate!

A cat was the mayor of an Alaskan City for about 10 years from about 2009 to 2019. By law foreigners aren't allowed to become president of the United States, but the empurrer got votes in Alaska!

 Volleyball has a high turnover rate, much better than golf! I flunked Whispering 101 in college..

 When I put a warm wet washcloth over my head it saves on a trip to Miami Beach.. it's sort of "softwear simulation!

Science shows the feeling of Certainty can be triggered without the need for evidence or reasoning, using electric stimulation over a specific part of the brain. The original Night Before Christmas said the stockings were hung around the chimney with "expectations!" If you want a feeling of Certainty put a electric hot sock over your head and YULE be present for Christmas when they stuff you!

The French and Belgians have an ongoing dispute about where fries were invented. Anywhere but France or Belgium is best!

A road intersects the airport runway in Gibraltar and consequently has to be closed whenever a plane lands or depart..If they change lanes then they can change planes!

I went to this cheap mind reader and I paid her to tell my fortune. She sez, "Intelligence WAS the way to liberation!" "All that was won't be! All that won't be already is!"

What they always used to say on Star Trek. "I was transported, weren't you!" 

There are 10 times more astrologers than astronomers in the United States.. and the astronomers are seeing stars!

"Waiter, what's this rat doing in my soup?" "Trying to get out!"

I wonder if a diving launcher would be good because the diver could spin around lots more often above.. There are planets with oceans of water 5000 miles deep.. soft water a must!

"Stayed up all night guarding my car because the people who stole it have my other key" Perhaps if she could use the other car to drive, she owns hers more often and each time the thief crashes-she saves lots on auto insurance! Or if she loans them her lawnmower and they agree to use it in her yard!

If I'm playing music and they say stop stop I can't take any more of this amazing creativity, my reply is "I'm a real outventor and not just a relaxaholic!"

Watching videos clips are real! With wild circus rides and other events you can find out what's going on with other people, without even having a heart attack! But not if you're watching what you eat!

 I once had a Teacher named Experience.. She was great and I'll always remember her. Because she was The Best!

Eating is like being 21 in Reno! Because.."Dessert Stomach" is where the stomach expands upon contact with sugar, making room for dessert even when you are already feeling full. To win at Reno, don't sweeten up the pot!

"The Centennial Light is the world's longest-lasting light bulb, burning since 1901." The Beatles all around are brand new this month!

I see these reviews and don't know if I can trust them and I see one review where it says "as an AI my opinion my doesn't count!" Well DU-uh!

You see these ads for video use online and they have this pig who's grinning and seems thrilled. Two-thirds of video gamblers are addicts, and with the damage to gray matter, cash, and relationships, if the pig promotes it, it must be a thin pig!

 (Note.. if you have overuse with apps online I do sympathize a lot and I think we could use AI to basically stop and smooth out the randomness of the internet.. research has shown this is the main cause of overuse.. cook here for my post about dish or see the same dish at the end of the page if you like!)

Emotional tears contain a natural painkiller, which reduces pain and improves your mood. Rain on your window pain makes the most sad cheer for you, and your realtor will laugh the most about your clean windows!

 In Moscow ambulances are being repurposed as taxis with lush interiors as a way to save money during the time when no one around is ill.. you can have a safe emergency to the ER, right of way! 

I'm so cheap I have a Low Speed Limited Outernet InAccessable link to the www!

In 1938 US Route 66.. became the first highway to be completely paved! Yes from one side to the other for a thousand miles!

Fast food restaurants including McDonald's were first built on Route 66 in American history. But the wagon wheels before never got a fat tire!

"Regular consumption of caffeinated coffee reduces risk of suicide by 48%" With this much coffee you're so alert, how could you be dead!

"Zebra have poor eyesight, and ostriches have poor hearing. These have formed a symbiotic relationship through warning each other of danger."

  If you see stripes in the store and you type in and it's not hunt and peck, or lots of clucks, you're safe!

It's been said that some musicians seem to be a nostalgia act with time.. No, to us it's a nostalgia act, to them, it's classical music!

I would always hold my nose in the swimming pool to keep my nose from the waves. A third of beaches are closed each year due to pollution.. Perhaps my idea of a self-cleaning wave powered beach would have a more refreshing fishy smell!

Venus Williams is the famous tennis player.. she signs her name "VW"-at 75 mph she has the autograph!

Jeff Bezos' Blue Origin rocket flight was the first all-female spaceflight since Soviet cosmonaut Valentina Tereshkova's historic solo spaceflight in 1963. Tereshkova was the first woman in space. She was all woman, 100% of the trip, 100% up!

 57% now have internet overuse issues..As promised here's my link about we might use AI how to reduce gambling or other overuse events because 2/3 of video gamblers are supposedly are addicted..

 Here's my other post you might like about what we can do now using padlock timers and other more conventional methods to reduce overuse that most have without yet having AI in reach..CLICK HERE for Most!

One Liners and More Liners!

I went on a once in a lifetime tour of Egypt and Europe. I say, why not more!

My cheese won't melt in 3000 years because golden Rolls Royce makes the best pizza drones. At these prices it can't afford to melt!

It turns out that chewing gum has been found to release thousands of microplastics. I always thought if motorized cheese should chew itself!  Change the oil save 52 trips!

Some of us who live in apartments have property managers who visit like once a year for the annual spring inspection. This is sort of like a cleaning cyclone that comes through and cleans things out for a while. And hey! To be clean cools the tropics by 30°!

How to stop a mouse in Ohio? Serve frozen cheese pizza!

There's a cruise ship Hotel in South Korea that's on a high hill on the shore designed by the owners to make you feel like they're in a ship but without nausea! We're all on the same boat even if we're on land!

Mice don't like ants because they never die they just go to a big cat-chin above.

If someone says this house is crawling with ants say oh no the house can't crawl just the ants!

My house has a big elevator sometimes, no it's just the house in a cyclone!

Where are you more of an opti-mist if you say the house burnt up instead of the house burnt down.. because to put out the fire you can moisturize!

Mice have been evolving to avoid mousetraps in the house and now they can outsmart them but how can they type in without 5G?

Chat GPT never sleeps..and our snores are much louder!

We read about the wireless fence for keeping the dog nearby without the dog having to dig with the shovel to get out of debt for $200 to pay for this fence!

Where's the best place to find rare coins? Clean dirt!

For your collectible coins you know when to hold'm and know when to fold'm!

  Is it easier to stir a pot with the right or left hand? I tried this and if I burn my hand it's especially easier to stir with your right or left hand, if your hands in a silicone oven mitt rated to 500°!

Note....Moooove the powdered milk away from your cell phone as you eat. This will clog it up the port, and even while Dutch cows may be dancing in their clogs, you may be left with two left foots when you may otherwise type in with your socks!

Never feed milk to a cat, because they're lactose intolerant. We're more tolerant of them than they are of us~ Does this mean we're lactose! Cats might lac lactose but they Certainly are not without Santa Claws at Christmas!

When a Man is zonked out on a woman's perfume, you can be sure he's not taken leave of her perscentses!

How can you know if your psychic is using perfume? When you pay her in advance for being in non smokers!

Science has found that most like AI created poetry more than poems by poets like Wordsworth or Burns. It's not that they read those rhymes years before; they were just nostalgic about the months ahead!

How do you know if your goldfish is smart? He went to college and not to high school with a PhD.

Why is a PhD good for business? 37% of business majors are rich. They must know and found out somehow!

What is benificient? When a fish was a was a fish in a life saving nonprofit and had been a fish in a triumphant early afterlife!

The headline read, scientists discover amber from 90 million years ago..

I said that was the same amber they discovered millions of years ago in the web site I read before when they double clicked and the web stone BC powder tablets they typed with, were real!

The lady who discovered the piece of an asteroid she had used for a book stop and sold it for $20 million says she will never forget to dust anymore!

A Christmas asteroid is possible to hit the earth in 2032 on December 22nd (see link here, close your eyes while you read!) but experts say that the chance of it actually hitting us is only like 2% or as much as if you roll the dice and got 12 dice with one roll or as good as if you bought a million lottery tickets.. Me, I never win anything!

We may think we have it tough about winter but it's not so bad. In Alaska they have it like this most of the day each month. And when they want to dry clean their hat they have send them to the dry ice box cleaners And the Christmas light is a rainbow of the Northern Lights..and the pot of gold always is the Gold Rush of '99!

They now have automobile cologne with that "like new smell" for fast living on the super highway of life.. I didn't even know RVs wheels wheezed, when they feel inflated!

Cats have a lower IQ than a dog. Our dogs are unaware so when they dog nap in the shade they never listen to our bark anyhow!

A man went before the judge 59 times this month.. And he said "I think this time I really learned my lesson!" And the judge said "I think your dog had better not apply for another PhD From the University of Arfizona online!"

In Australia in the winter it's cozy here... And it seems much like Australia in Febuary here too~the boats are all upside down in the rain!

I don't use incense and here's whiff! Who knows what chemicals you may be ingesting, It may be polluting and "uncommon incense is not as good as common scents"!

I want to look thinner so I go to my ophthalmologist and say, "How can I double my size in half with the mirror" and she says, "Weight and See!"

I go out on this jogging Trail where I live and it's paved well by the local town council with lava and I said you'll never have to resurface my shoes for thousands of years because by exercise I'm lighter and lighter; no more darn potholes!

Mice can't live naturally north of the tropics so they like to snuggle up in a nice cozy house. A lot of people would like to smuggle them out-and smuggle out their cheese without them!

They found collectors they can use at night to harvest radiation from the Earth's heat as it radiates out when there's no cloud cover. Finally! solar power at night! Mom's been waiting for years!

On the moon when they see the Earth rising is called Earthrise and here on the earth we see more Moonshine!

They've also found a way to read the ancient rolls from near ancient Vesuvius that were hit by the volcano using a particle accelerator and AI recognition to recognize words even though the roll was burnt and buried after the eruption of Vesuvius.

Marms and librarians go wild! They can't wait to flip through the ages! No, the pages!

It's been seen that some travelers have a Full scale map of the U.S. And they spend Several months each year folding and unfolding it. Me I have a full-scale globe of the earth and I spend a year each month for a thousand years inflating and deflating it! I'm never out of breath by the ozone layer!

I saw this commercial for an airplane or ships and it says Say Maximum speed 135 knots, cruise speed 125 knots, I'm thinking knots per hour knots per hour they'll catch up with us up here in the air eventually! If we can't tie good knots per hour, tie lotsa knots per hour!

Restaurants here in 2025 are finally serving smaller portions.. Perhaps they're cutting back so they can earn more cash because it's good for our health. Live now and Save!

I've been drinking powdered milk for years, Because I love the flavor but it gets in my cell phones charging port So I started to think, "What not just add water to the milk and drink it?"  I'm surprised the cows didn't think of this! What do cows give in a drought? Powdered milk! What do cows give during an earthquake milkshakes!

A man on a Canadian airline sued the airline for 700$ and couldn't claim his baggage for several days and it was filled with seafood.. It wasn't found till the drug sniffing dogs filed a formal complaint -without the seafood and Drug dog Administration!

If it really was the thought that counts many more of the wealthy would be alert in Ohio..

Have you noticed how Whoppers don't weigh as much as they used to..  McDonald's has the "Half a Meal" this is also named 8th of a Pounder!

Inventors have devised a record-breaking diamond storage method that can store data for millions of years.. If it's a record made out of diamonds I don't think it could be record breaking! The record may play the song more than the diamond!

The greatest new Christmas present is supposedly sending people other people's unclaimed postits! They won't just send a picture of a beautiful lady, they say "Oh No I want the beautiful lady!

The good thing about the lottery is if you had bad luck! Bad luck cures overuse for most..but then so would winning gold, investment diamonds, and the deed to a condo in Miami Beach! Well, it's an option!

  

One Liners

A restroom is a great memory aid. My neighbors know I remember the golden rule of silence I hope. Where did the 1976 group Boston practice? in OR!

What's good about being late to your own funeral or health care visit? You save so much on legal costs by thinking outside the box! The box has AM FM with real feel!

But grand opera is when the lady answers only after listening to her life on hold, horns VISA, and her shield!

"As Seen on DVR, Victoria The Legend Lives On!" She stretches so good in her leotards!

The laser lawn tractor costs 10,000, is street legal. It cuts silently with a steam beam, makes grass grow, which allows more excuse to use this often up the lane to wow sweet Betsy...

If you can't narrow your search, widen it! Act As Save As If! Outsmart the Outbox Devil..One marked, Get Rich Fast, Get Rich Slow, you are 21 in Reno!

Why smoke in the MRI? If you're fired with ambition.... tours record deals, fans!

If you're a musician, your brain lights up just for your instrument not relatives of Einsteen, just practice, no that was the neighbors brain lighting up, in need of rest!

A good trick for musicians; I tie my instrument in my restroom so my neighbors never hear.
To stop crank callers signal ring, is where you tell mom  or the boss to call hang up and call back a time or two, The crank is caller number 27!

Or just leave a comedy track on your machine, if you always want to be a star, play more guitar songs, and someone may hear you and sign you up.

If like Up Up and away, Why Not up Up Up and away, New and Improved! More residuals!

Galileo was starting out by alternating his speeches with Aristotle and mideval physics, then he added his own speeches, 50% and then more. Out With the New in With the Old!


What's great about the web? More solutions than problems!

Edison predicted the web in the 1900's.  If he could see us now what would he think? He'd say Wow! I sure am smart! I'm Edison! I'm not dead!-and I'm alive too!

What's a sofa to automatically pour your beer? A Beercliner!
I'm not fat. Underneath this hat is my office! And under my sweater is a Yoga Reflexology Track suit!

Yoga is good when you read widely. Your brain is exercised by great sites!

It's easy to hire an authoress. Her resume is all real!

To a health professional lamaz is a labor of love!

Wouldn't it be great if war was cancelled because of a blue blue ocean of love. Wave powered luxury ocean liners!

"General Comics and Ocean One Liners!"

What's wild? Marms in commercials, I saw one who says we have 30 more shushes to eat out at her restuarant!

..No wonder we could use more math! All over the world there's global warming, and what are we guarding against? Raisins in the box out of reach! (They've solved this with a one way valve for your hand into the box.) Thank goodness for OH!

They have a new tooth rinse I saw in the commercial, high speed. It's refreshing like floss when you yell for the RN and already she's sweet and suite on you!

And now it's 15 seconds on the tube, by the hour you wake up with anasthesia, you've saved labor day!

There was another fistfight today in the rich field of lawnmower racing, how will they punch out a lawn dunno.

How to always be fit...try to increase your pleasure in giant jugs of condensed milk!

They found what may be 8 more earthlike worlds this month, to me, ours will always be right up there with mozzeralla.

I was hoping to invent an inflation washing machine with a tube filled with air shakes around from the top, where you add your stuff in. To implode, our machine is filled with perpetual motion.

When the Electrolux has a crash, first the inward implosion then outward radiance!

If I asked my mom's hat size for a present, I told her I'm sorry not if I'm not perfect, even as amazin as I am!

If a boat was in a South Seas island, what kind of boat is this? A remoter boat!

To give the dog a bath, he spins around and zooms out clean!

Poet emeritus, doesn't rhyme, so poetess emeritus always must!

  They have a remote control for dogs, connected to a collar, and vibrations to train, left, sit, up stay, stop button if the dog has the remote, and translation like to read the FM in 27 arfin languages!

How do they spell in OHIO? Round on the sides and Hi on the Shores of Lake Superior!!

My mom had a pink finmobile when was a kid and it started to roll down the hill of the lot when we bought groceries one day by the store. I said, " Mom, let's get some exercise before we eat!" She ran and stopped it before it got away. And the kids never forget about this. If she hadn't caught the car I'm shure she would have!

The Hostess company went bankrupt this week, couldn't they just use the Muffins Defence?

Like musical inventions, sports inventions are not guaranteed to catch on and sell, even so hope springs eternal here in tv computer land, here are some recent sports inventions that may win the Olympics for inventors;

Baseball bat sound synth; the maker of the word famous Louisville Slugger bat sez though they make both lots of wood and aluminum bats, the aluminum bats make a wimpy sound when they hit one in the outfield so a module has been devised that fits inside the bat with a recording of a wood bat highly shock resistant that plays at the moment of impact, also plays answering machine jingles and the Price Is Right. (This has nothing to do with the arena, and the sound whirl, shboom, shboom and the national anthem and the arena wave But I've seen the Price is Right so often I had it mesmerized.).

Football Shoes that have gyroscopes inside to make it so you always kick the football just where you want! Also with GPS for christians to dance away from temptation!

Football Return Machine. Has a slope to always roll and return the football to the coach. Or use the roof of a house. The roof of a dog house or if you have a pit bull, the roof of a mouse house.

Virtual Indoor Golf. A ritzy hybrid of putt putt and computerized shots you hit indoors to a net but the picture inside your cyber headset seems real enough. The only problem is if the owner's wife hits 50 aces, even so she'll win WW II. And dying of lightning a blast of the past. Great weather 24/7. Coming soon, lawnmower Putt Putt so the windmill rises to higher altitude than here. What golf course does well without flowers, cheese, and ye old CMT!

 Ren Tin Ten was a higher up than Lassie. Rin was a war dog rescued in WWI. He went on the be MGM's top star in the business for the 1st 10 years, and could he act! All he had to do was act naturalwoof! He was rescued and got real reel to reel!

Have you heard of solar powered light? Great! A solar powered heater! At night it reverses to an airconditioner! They have heaters in prisons for comfort, no wind ups, Just so the heater has a siren and lights on top!

Reader's Digest reports that some prisons are being converted to restaurants, after like in 1973 when Alcatraz was opened to visitors. Others like E.State Prison in Philadelphia and Boston's Beacon Hill have converted to businesses like Hotels. Just so they pay the parole at the cash register!

They now have brain controlled movies you watch by ECG's to change the plotline. Brain controlled? They'll never have this for Television. Often no brains are involved!